Awakening moment

Those silent times that you get for yourself, when the mind starts racing tgen you realize how far you have fallen. Even the good you do doesn't really cover for the bad that you. Its like an addiction you try to get out of without even getting help. Those short quiet moments are the deadliest.  The more you start thinking about karma or what is going wrong the more you start blaming it on the wrong, the addiction or just the first wrong turn. It can all be overwhelming. 
Although crying helps by the moment, it doesn't solve the problems at hand. I have come to realize no matter how we try to pretend to be something else just for the sake of someone else, family, friends, you can only handle so much.
Discipline, obedient, and some guidance can do a  sister some good. One step at a time untill there is no tears